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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2010 2:59 pm  Reply with quote
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Thanks guys for the confidence boost but if I'm being honest let me tell you the best advice I've been given: "Dying's easy,living's difficult".Trust me when I tell you that I was tempted to let it all go but too many years of not giving up paid off as well as some luck because Los Zetas usually makes sure their targets and everyone around the target are dead.

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Maxwell The Tiger
PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2010 3:09 pm  Reply with quote
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Cool to know it worked out for you and you're fine, so did you have fun in the dream world? lol

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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2010 6:31 pm  Reply with quote
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Maxwell The Tiger wrote:
Cool to know it worked out for you and you're fine, so did you have fun in the dream world? lol


Not to sound depressing and cynical but dying is no dream particularly when in anaphylaxis because your wind pipe closes so you basically choke to death.

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Maxwell The Tiger
PostPosted: Fri May 21, 2010 12:13 pm  Reply with quote
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Well, Good luck.

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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 1:34 pm  Reply with quote
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Well just to let you guys know I have limited mobility and with any luck I'll be out within a few weeks.

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Tursi
PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 1:41 pm  Reply with quote
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Good to hear, DesertWolf. Your dedication to doing the right thing, and your refusal to give up despite the horrid things you have to go through, is motivational.

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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 2:36 pm  Reply with quote
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Tursi wrote:
Good to hear, DesertWolf. Your dedication to doing the right thing, and your refusal to give up despite the horrid things you have to go through, is motivational.


Thanks Tursi. I do feel that my late Sifu Li aptly named me when I was young when he called me XueLang(lit.Snow Wolf or in laymen terms an Arctic Wolf).

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Lidia_Apricot
PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 7:39 pm  Reply with quote
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DesertWolf wrote:
Well just to let you guys know I have limited mobility and with any luck I'll be out within a few weeks.


That's good news. Make sure you rest well and drink a nice, fresh juice (water or milk is good, too) :3

Oh, there's something I want to ask you, Mr. DesertWolf. Truthfully, I feel a little embarrass of asking you this and I understand if you say no.

I want to ask Ms. Scorpia a commission of your fursona and Lidia Apricot.

My idea is like a "get well" commission for you, and I want to ask your permission if I could let Ms. Scorpia use your fursona that Ms. Scorpia made of your character from the roleplay "Project: Aten."

So...may I?
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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 7:47 pm  Reply with quote
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I have no problems with you using my character Lidia.

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Lidia_Apricot
PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 7:52 pm  Reply with quote
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Thank You. :3
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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 8:00 pm  Reply with quote
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You're Welcome Very Happy

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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 6:48 pm  Reply with quote
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I hate to say this but I'm uncertain how much more I can take.Having no more pain medication and going through withdrawal symptoms is taxing everything I've got and then some.My hands are shaking,the pain is excruciating,and worst of all is having to either throw-up or dry heave into a Mexican toilet.

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Shadow_Twisted
PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 6:57 pm  Reply with quote
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To put it in the best terms I can think of: The only options are pretty much deal with it or die, right? In this case, death would be the permanent solution to a temporary problem. No matter how hard it gets, how painful, how trying, or how taxing, so long as you fight on you will find the end of pain and the start of better days.
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Lidia_Apricot
PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 7:01 pm  Reply with quote
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Wait, you don't have any more pain medication?

Why don't you or one of your friends to go to a Pharmacy and get one pain reliever for you.

Go and get some rest, Mr. DesertWolf or if your legs are mobilize, you could take a nice, slow, walk.

Don't give up!
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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 7:50 pm  Reply with quote
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Shadow_Twisted wrote:
To put it in the best terms I can think of: The only options are pretty much deal with it or die, right? In this case, death would be the permanent solution to a temporary problem. No matter how hard it gets, how painful, how trying, or how taxing, so long as you fight on you will find the end of pain and the start of better days.


I hope you'll forgive me if I come across cynical or a smart ass here but I've already died(for 45 seconds)I can tell you if I wanted to be dead permanently I would've done so then and if I wanted to go now trust me I'd have done it sooner.The drawback from not pushing myself as hard as I did when I was younger is a bad drop in self-confidence.The best way to describe what I'm going through mentally is this:"Even a Buddha can lose his path." or for a more Westernized version:"Even a priest can have a crisis of Faith".

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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 8:23 pm  Reply with quote
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Lidia_Apricot wrote:
Wait, you don't have any more pain medication?

Why don't you or one of your friends to go to a Pharmacy and get one pain reliever for you.

Go and get some rest, Mr. DesertWolf or if your legs are mobilize, you could take a nice, slow, walk.

Don't give up!



Unfortunately Lidia morphine happens to be a highly addictive drug so many hospitals opt to ween people off of it and once you run out you can't get more.
I do about 2 hours of sitting/standing Tai Chi and Chi Kung and Wing Chun forms.My passion,focus,and determination prevent me from giving up.Now if you guys will excuse me I need to rest.

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Lidia_Apricot
PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 7:32 pm  Reply with quote
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Why not buy some pain reliever from a convenience store; such as, Advil, Tylenol, Motrin, etc.?

And hope you had a good rest.
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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:14 pm  Reply with quote
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I'm already on Advil to keep my blood from clotting the problem is it's just not getting the job done. At best I get 2-3 hours of relief.Thankfully the morphine withdrawal symptoms are quieting down so I'm able to get focused alot more and push myself like I did in my younger years.In fact the fact of having a determined look mixed with the fact I yell "Yo quiero más!"(I know quiero can be used alone)has given me a nickname of sorts:El Demonio Blanco.I did have a fairly good rest and with that I need to rest some more.


P.S.:For those of you who failed Spanish,

translation 1:"I want more!"
translation2:The White Demon

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Miss Scorpia
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 9:20 am  Reply with quote
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This is for you Desertwolf!

[URL=http://img234.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=63367_GetwellsoonDesertwolf_122_466lo.jpg] [/URL]

Hope you get well soon.

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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 12:32 pm  Reply with quote
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Thank you very much Miss Scorpia. I truly and greatly appreciate it. I also want to give Lidia a Thank You for having the picture made and finally a Thank You to everybody for their support.

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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2010 7:02 pm  Reply with quote
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Finally got the bandages removed from my right leg.1 more week and I'm out of this place and I'll be in Hong Kong after wards.

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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 10:06 pm  Reply with quote
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I struggled with telling you guys this but as of the 15th of this month I'll no longer have a job.It wasn't an easy decision mind you but I felt that being nearly 32 and damn near dead has left a wake up call if you will and I pretty much answered it the best way I could for myself.I knew what my job entailed when I first started over 10 years ago and if I didn't like it,I'd have left it then and there.

As far as my membership goes I'll break it down with these 2 thoughts:

1)If this is my absolute goodbye just know that I have much love and respect for everyone here and I thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for your love and support throughout my time here.It's my sincerest wish that BonBon continue to get bigger and better and I wish Vanessa and everyone involved great success with this site.

2)If by some miracle I'm able to stay,know that I love and respect everyone and I thank you for everything you've done for me and if I've done anything to lose anyone's respect I'll do my best(within reason)to make amends.

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Lidia_Apricot
PostPosted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 8:56 pm  Reply with quote
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Truthfully, I'm hoping is number 2.

If you have to leave this forum for good, I want to you to know that I had enjoyed reading and learning the types of martial art skills and weapons you had posted and the exercise's challenge you posted here, as well, which I have to say did help me a lot. :3

And the fact that you're here having a good time chatting with everyone here makes me happy. ^w^

So, If you're staying, then Yay! :3

If you have to go, then I hope you keep living while you're still breathing. ^w^
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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 8:57 pm  Reply with quote
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I gotta say that Hong Kong is beautiful this time of the year but I didn't come here on vacation.I've been training/rehabilitating myself getting my legs up to kicking status again but it'll be awhile before I get there.

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Lidia_Apricot
PostPosted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:09 pm  Reply with quote
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Sounds cool. Do your best.

And, please, don't stress yourself to your limit.
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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:11 pm  Reply with quote
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Lidia_Apricot wrote:
Truthfully, I'm hoping is number 2.

If you have to leave this forum for good, I want to you to know that I had enjoyed reading and learning the types of martial art skills and weapons you had posted and the exercise's challenge you posted here, as well, which I have to say did help me a lot. :3

And the fact that you're here having a good time chatting with everyone here makes me happy. ^w^

So, If you're staying, then Yay! :3

If you have to go, then I hope you keep living while you're still breathing. ^w^


Well I'm always glad when people say I've helped them in some way and I'm hoping for the best but I also have to be realistic as well but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 9:08 pm  Reply with quote
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Lidia_Apricot wrote:
Sounds cool. Do your best.

And, please, don't stress yourself to your limit.



I always push myself to the limit and beyond because not doing so is against my nature.

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Lidia_Apricot
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 8:25 am  Reply with quote
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Alright.

Do your best.
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DesertWolf
PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:39 pm  Reply with quote
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This is going to be a good news bad news post yet again.


The good:I've been offered a job with the U.S.Army's A.W.G.(Asymmetric Warfare Group): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asymmetric_Warfare_Group and my right leg is up to low range kicks.


The Bad:If I do decide to take the job I'll be on the next deployment to Afghanistan in mid August and I don't know what will happen but I'll cross that bridge when or if it comes.Also it'll be another 3~4 weeks before my left leg can be used in another function other than walking.

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Tursi
PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:48 pm  Reply with quote
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You are definately a warrior, DesertWolf.

Do what you feel is right, but take care of yourself, too.

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