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Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Jul 2011 Posts: 1665

Name: Artyom Voskella Derison

Nationality: Russian

Species: Black Panther

Age: 28

Weight: 187lbs

Height: 6'1"

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

Appearance: He is physically fit from working several years in steel factories and farms. He has a scar on the right side of his face that he recived during the time he spent working for the "People's Will" Revolutionary group. His fur is jet black except for his ears which are maroon and a maroon stripe along his tail.

Hair: Short silver hair

Eyes: Emerald Green

Occupation: Wood and Metal working, Agricultural work, former revolutionary

Hobbies: enjoys hunting, cooking, playing his acoustic guitar, and swordsmanship

Clothing: Dark brown boots, brown pants, grey trench coat with white button up shirt underneath. He always wears a Russian Cossack Kindjal sword on his left-hand side attached to his belt. He also wears his acoustic guitar slug over his shoulder in canvas bag to protect from the elements or a Mosin Nagant rifle when hunting

Pic of sword

Pic of Rifle

Pic of Guitar
HTTP://www.maccaripugliese.com/Duo_Maccari-Pugliese/N-giulguitar.html

(Pre-Bon Bon)History: He comes form a poor family that lived in the outskirts of Moscow. He eldest of his younger sister. During his early years he spent most of his time most of his time working on his families farm and crops as well as hunting with his father. When he was 17 he got a job at a local steel factory and worked there for several years. Around the age of 21 he was fired for participating in a strike to get better wages and working conditions of the factory workers. He tried to get jobs around the city but the government had him black listed and he was unable to find employment. Outraged by this he joined group dubed the "The People's Will". They first stated with strikes and roots around various cities in Russia, but eventually led to a full-blown government over throw. At the age of 24 he participated in an assassination of the czar. All went according to plan but the Czar's death did not spark the popular uprising that they had predicted. In retaliation the government systematically hunted down an executed members of the group.
They killed his parents but managed to get his sister in hiding with the aid of some revolutionaries while he fled to Spain. While in Spain he became fascinated by the acoustic guitar. He took lessons an was able to play exceptionally well at the age 26. As well as learning swordsmanship skill with his fathers sword. A few years later he recived a letter from an old friend that the government had found out where he was hiding. The letter mentioned Bon Bon and how he could start a new life there.

History in Bon Bon (So far): He had some trouble reaching the town due to the map being off he was aided by three residents of the town to find his way to Bon Bon. He currently lives at an Inn on the edge of town (still working on the name). In Bon Bon he has a done a variety of "odd jobs" for the residents of the town. He can normally be found helping out his friend at the "Pleasure Shot", exploring the outskirts of Bon Bon, and sometimes preforms at the "The White Rabbit Bar"(mentioned in the "New Information RP"). He frequented the bar alot and eventually asked the owner if he needed any new musical acts to bring in more customers.

Personality: well-mannered, and polite, but can smart arse sometimes. He is resentful of authority figures, but tries not to show it but his pride sometimes gets in the way. He has a good sense of humour although he might say something that he thinks is funny but others don't seem to agree. He doesn't mind the city, but prefers the country side. He is not very social and prefers to be alone.

This is my first fursona ever. What do you think?

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 25 Nov 2009 Posts: 1640

He sounds like quite a character

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 12351

And the black panther count increases to 3 Razz

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 22 Dec 2008 Posts: 2173

((Artyom Derison,

Well... consider this a mixed blessing. I don't comment on many of these threads, as I find most don't care for the harsh critique I tend to give characters.

Anyway, I'd like to draw attention to your final paragraph. So... your character is hot, except when he's cold? Musically inclined, except when he's tone-deaf. Angry, except when he's happy. Polite, except when he's being crass. He's light, except when he's dark. He's charismatic, except when he's indecisive. He's a social butterfly, except when he wants to be alone. Do you see where I'm going with this? All of your "personality" characteristics are bi-polar opposites. It's... cliche. Pick a personality for your character, and go with it.

OH! Along those lines, is Artyom literate? Also, being that he's a revolutionary, is he charasmatic, or more of a sheep follwing a charasmatic person. In some ways... your character sounds more like a sheep following someone else.

As for the labor riots... you might want to revamp that as well. While the American federal government supported business more than the worker, the feds really only sent in troops "to keep the peace." Companies tended to hire Pinkerton's or Private Security, and workers tended to mob-tactic intimidate the facilities. Anyway, point being, you might want to look up some of the labor issues in the States from 1860 - 1890 to get a better work up for the labor riots.

Also, a while Unions were barely tolerated, communists were practically unheard of... other than Marx. And, if you were labeled a communist few, if any, would harbor you. Fascism got away with a lot that it did, because of the general fear of communism.

Also, is his fur black or silver? You mention he has black fur, and then short, silver hair... so... which is it?

Just some thoughts. ))

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Jul 2011 Posts: 1665

Thanks for the suggestions Caroline. It was my first fursona ever so I really wasn't sure if I made it right.

The reason he's on the run is not because he's not a communist it was because he was involved in the assination of the Czar.

Since you say that my character's personality is bi-polar I could possible make two characters. One a revolutionary the other a musician. Its just a thought.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 30 Sep 2009 Posts: 9138

i dont see any reason to make two just acutly make him bi-polar it would be qiute a cahnge to all these go happy carters

or runs running from there past's i kinda likr the idea of that

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 12351

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 08 Sep 2008 Posts: 3428

Heh cool Russian man.

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 22 Dec 2008 Posts: 2173

((Now, now, Silvador. No need to be snarky. It was hard enough for me to figure out. ))

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Jul 2011 Posts: 1665

I made some changes to his personality.

@Caroline: He is literate how else would he be able to read the letter warning him that the government found him and to flee to Bon Bon. Also the the way Russia delt with riots was much different than what we did here in the U.S. not to mention they were still ruled by a king or Czar as called him.

My Furaffinity Account · Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 14 Jul 2011 Posts: 2436

Very nice =)

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Jul 2011 Posts: 1665

Thanks Spacey Very Happy

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 22 Dec 2008 Posts: 2173

((To Artyom Derison,

I asked about the literacy, as literacy then wasn't the same as it is now. Some people could "read", but not at a terribly high or fluent level. There were still careers made out of folks who could read/write. Anyway, you mentioned he was a farmer and then an industrial worker. Hence the question if he could actually read or not.

Also, while I understand that Imperial Russia and the Czar are different than the United States and the Federals, it was more a suggestion than anything. I do get that the Czars (which is a Russianification of Caesar) and the Czarist government were anti-democracy/free speach/right to assembly sorts of things.

Anyway, you get on with your bad revoltin' self... yeah... my humor takes some getting used too. ))

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 12351

Lots and lots of getting used to. Like stale bread.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Jul 2011 Posts: 1665

I'm already used to it. Some of my friends including myself have a similar sense of humor. So its more like buttery toast than stale bread

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 26 Mar 2011 Posts: 2709

nice fur Arty, he sounds like he'll be interesting addition to Bon Bon

*slapping arty on the back* Greetings Comrade!

Caroline's humor is more like fine chocolate to me, because it's a lot like mine, sometimes even when i say something i find funny others don't get it.

My Furaffinity Account · Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 14 Jul 2011 Posts: 2436

I wish I could think of some witty comparison of Caroline's humor to a food substance. lol

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Jul 2011 Posts: 1665

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 12351

My Furaffinity Account · Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 14 Jul 2011 Posts: 2436

Do I detect a Jon Lajoie reference?

No? Probably not. Maybe...?

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 26 Mar 2011 Posts: 2709

*chugs every last drop of the vodka and smashes the bottle on the ground*

*in a zoidberg voice*

MORE MORE

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 12351

My Furaffinity Account · Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 14 Jul 2011 Posts: 2436

M.C. Vagina? If you don't get it I'm sure I look pretty silly right about now.

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 12351

My Furaffinity Account · Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 14 Jul 2011 Posts: 2436

Unfortunate, He makes some funny videos on YouTube, that was one of the lines in his one of his songs, "Ill kick you in the face with my fist." I thought maybe Arty might possibly have been referencing.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Jul 2011 Posts: 1665

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Jul 2011 Posts: 1665

Me and one of my friends actually made it up. I never seen that video till now. Another one we made up is Faceist. He horribly misspelled fascist so we made it a new word. It basically means that you don't like people with certain types of faces. It not supposed to make any sence since we came up with it while completely bored.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 30 Sep 2009 Posts: 9138

well im just thankfull ya didnt call him zangief Laughing

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Jul 2011 Posts: 1665

I updated my fursona's History

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/arcsol/ · Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 28 Aug 2011 Posts: 1386

Final sketch for artyoms character in my comic, will have the colored version up tomorrow

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6671680