| Author |
Message |
|
| General Forum -> Adult Jokes/Humor & Erotic Stories ~ What Pets Write in their Diaries... |
|
 Posted:
Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:26 am
|
|
|
Rank: Super Veteran
Joined: 25 Nov 2009
Posts: 1640
|
|
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now... |
_________________
>Aria< >Tatiana<
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
| Posted:
Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:44 am
|
|
|
Rank: Super Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2009
Posts: 4436
|
|
Clever, The dog one was funny.
But erm, I think it's creepy that my cat is staring at me now. |
_________________
[url=http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=9048]
[/url] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:46 am
|
|
|
Rank: Super Veteran
Joined: 25 Nov 2009
Posts: 1640
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:47 am
|
|
|
Rank: Super Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2009
Posts: 4436
|
|
| It's...Just...Staring Blankly... |
_________________
[url=http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=9048]
[/url] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:44 pm
|
|
|
Rank: Super Veteran
Joined: 03 Feb 2010
Posts: 6190
|
|
i think it would have been just as funny if the diary was a Persian cat or a Siamese they think they own us
if this is true then why hasn't my cat run away he lives in the garage and goes outside often |
_________________
Star Silver
Medel Gargen
CafePress
FurAffinity |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:55 pm
|
|
|
Rank: Super Veteran
Joined: 18 Dec 2008
Posts: 3307
|
|
My roommates cat has been stealing the toilet paper.
She knows... she KNOWS!! |
_________________
"One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster.
The bars are temples, but the pearls ain't free...
You'll find a god in every golden cloister,
And if you're lucky then the god's a she..." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Sat Mar 27, 2010 1:20 pm
|
|
|
Rank: Super Veteran
Joined: 02 Oct 2009
Posts: 6733
|
|
Almost thought the same thing for the dog, but more for a simple dog.
12:00 pm, find bone
2:00 pm, dig hole for bone.
4:00 pm, buried bone.
Next day, repeat. |
_________________
My Fursona http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=100410#100410
How dare they use casment window designs,
it's so last century ಠ_ರೃ
◕ ◡ ◕
"I'm gonna miss all the things we'll never do.
I just can't believe you left me here alone,
How in this world can I make it on my own?" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:03 pm
|
|
|
Royal Member of BonBon
Joined: 28 Oct 2009
Posts: 4247
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:49 pm
|
|
|
Rank: Super Veteran
Joined: 12 Mar 2010
Posts: 4326
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:38 pm
|
|
|
Rank: Veteran
Joined: 10 Jun 2009
Posts: 803
|
|
| The Adept wrote: |
|
Hey I take offence to this joke *shiney ball passes by* SHINY BALL!!! My favorite thing *takes off towerds shiney ball*
|
*blinks and watches Adept run of.* There are things to be said for not being domesticated. |
_________________
My Fursona(updates occasionally) http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=7537
"Revenge is a dish that is best served cold. It is very cold in space." - Khan (Ricardo Montalban) Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan |
|
|
|
|
|
|
