kristinawood.com ~ View topic

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

i was jsut doing whatever sense this is my rp.

"my name is andrew" he sits done acroos from her at the fire "so who are you" he sees that its warmer it was a cold evening and he feels better. he puts his paws out to get heat then rub them i ncircles to spread the heat around him

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 22 Jun 2010 Posts: 6953

Ah but what if you share the RP with someone else and they didn't appreciate where you went with it.

-3rd Part-

Woman:My names Rebeca...I'm camping here for the night; I'm hiking to the mountains nearby...

She seemed nervous at how he just appeared here and she was still working through her surprise of suddenly seeing him. She sat looking at him questioningly.

Rebeca: Why are you out here tonight? I didn't think anyone lived around here...

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

"i was just walking around" "nice to meet rebecca"

he tries to make sure shes calm.

"i just live a little bit away from here"

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

"i was just walking around" "nice to meet rebecca"

he tries to make sure shes calm.

"i just live a little bit away from here"

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 22 Jun 2010 Posts: 6953

"Double Post be careful with those"

The wind picks up and she moves closer to the fire.

Rebeca: Nice to meet you too...Would you like some jerky.

She hold up a strip of jerky to him; it smells strongly of the spices used to make it. She takes a bite of one she has still offering the other to him.

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Don't simply state what your trying to do say something like.

"He notices her nervousness and gives her a small smile letting her know he noticed and he is sorry"

Or something like that you have to give your RP emotion make it feel like your actualy sitting across from that person.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

"i would like some jerky im hungry" he puts his arm out waitng for a piece. he takes a bite. hge smiles to her to day i enjoy this

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 22 Jun 2010 Posts: 6953

OK what does this mean

" to day i enjoy this "

I can't understand what your trying to say.

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Rebeca: I made it myself...It spicy so if you don't like it its OK

When he bit into the jerky the spices kick in and began to burn his tongue. And his noise immediately began to run from all the spices she had used.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

i meant like he shows hes enjoying the day.
--
he start to feel like steam is coming out of her ears. "yo uhave any water i like it its just spicy"

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 22 Jun 2010 Posts: 6953

You have to work on making sure that words are not split up

Example: "yo uhave any"

You split up the word. You should also get into the habit of reading you posts again before you post to make sure they sound right and to make sure there are not any spelling errors.

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She laughs softly at his reaction and hand him a small canteen.

Rebeca: Here this should help....Don't worry about filling it back up; there is a stream I'm following up the mountain...So what brings you out on a night like this?

She seems to be relaxed and she smiles at him.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

OK i get messed up at times with my keyboard. ill work on that
--

"thanks for the canteen" he drinks slowly from it. 3 or 4 times until its empty. "well not much i just walk around to see what happenign " " i saw that the forst seemed enertaining tonight" "and i just met up with yo urebecca and this seems like a good day" he relaxes and lays on the ground completely layed out.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 22 Jun 2010 Posts: 6953

If you keep talking don't separate it with quotations just use periods.

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she smiled at him as he laid down and she continued to look into the fire.

Rebeca: You know....I only have one sleeping bag.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

ok its just how i learned to separate. on the rp.
--
he smiles at her "anyway we could share the sleeping bag"

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 22 Jun 2010 Posts: 6953

Rebeca: Well if you live close enough...maybe we could go there...If you wouldn't mind a guest?

She looked over at him; it had been months sense she had been with a man. Her time out here had made her long for the touch of another and she moved a little closer to him.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

"well you can walk with me its only 15 minutes away" "it wouldn't be a problem to have a guest" "we could get anything to eat at my palce. he gets closer to her to.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 22 Jun 2010 Posts: 6953

Rebeca: Anything to eat....really...all I've had for two weeks is jerky.

She moves right next to him and she playfully smiles at him.

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So far you've been doing well but you need to focus now on using punctuation.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

" that sounds bad i bet your getting sick of it" he smiles back at her "so anything you wanna do while we go"
--
ok now what species is supposed to be?

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 22 Jun 2010 Posts: 6953

((She is a brown mouse))

Rebeca: Not really; lets just head there now...its getting cold out tonight; and the fire isn't helping.

She moves her hand to his leg and rubs it softly as she looks at him.

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Question Mark.....Remember what Hoshi said..if it's a question then end it with a question mark.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

he smiles as she rubs his leg "so in a few minutes wil lbe there" they were getting there at a good pace. they got at the house "let me fix you sometihng to eat and to be comfortable" his house was a mid sized log cabin qith a fireplace, the colrsa are brown everywhere. tables and chares are where they need to be. its one floor "well i started a fire in the fireplace" its a brick fireplace

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 22 Jun 2010 Posts: 6953

((They haven't left yet....Keep track of where they are))

She stands and puts out the fire and bundles up her sleeping bag and packs her backpack and puts it on and she is ready to go...When they get into the cabin she sets her backpack down and walks over to the fireplace and sites down on the closet chair.

Rebeca: Nice place....how long have you lived here?
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("well i started a fire in the fireplace" its a brick fireplace)

You could simply say

"I'll start a fire" He walks over to the fireplace and begins to get the fire ready.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 08 Sep 2010 Posts: 4141

(Sorry to but in, but after this I would like to start a RP with Furry..... to see if he has paid attention.)

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

just making sure to describe. ok so pause.
ill rp with dorian now.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 08 Sep 2010 Posts: 4141

(Good then)

Ok so now your walking down the street. You run into Dorian.

Dorian walks up to Andrew, on one of his many daily strolls. Smiling he flips his cane and then leans on it. In his long black coat, and his scarlet vest, not wearing his hat. It seemed like Dorian was just being a bit cut back today. With his pipe in hand he smiled.

"So how are you Andrew?."

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Now try and say something like..... well take note on Dorian's outfit, try and have Andrew point out these certain things. While at the same time describing your own self.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

Andrew talking to him. he feels somethings different about dorian. "so Dorian im doing OK and how are you today" hes wearing a black trench coat, his glasses and all black for the day. his hair is shoulder length he keeps like this in the fall. he carries his guitar. he pulls his case he carries on his back and he leans on it. "so what have you planned to do today"

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 08 Sep 2010 Posts: 4141

Good good, remember the ? though.
______________________________________________

Dorian smiled, then twiddling his moustache in thought he looked up.

"Oh nothing really, I am just doing what I usually do. Though of course I just didn't feel like wearing it today,"

He said, checking his watch in his coat. His tall ear standing, whereas the other chipped one looked more ragged.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

andrew was jsut saying hi. "well you look different with out the hat" he stood there he walked beside him "so you planning to go somewhere later dorian" ?

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 08 Sep 2010 Posts: 4141

Dorian looked at him thoughtfully.

"Yeah, every once and a while you got to take it off..... I could introduce you to a friend of mine."

Dorian said thoughtfully, with a happy smile.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

he looked back at him so he couldhear him. he looked at him and smiled then he said

"so who is it dorian"? "ill follow you to the person'

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 08 Sep 2010 Posts: 4141

Remember to capitalize.
_______________________

"Oh a old war friend"

He said smiling, putting his arm around his shoulder he walked him down to the cafe.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

"Oh an old war friend" he just goes with the flow of things. he pulls a little bit away just not trying to be so close.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 08 Sep 2010 Posts: 4141

"Yeah me and her go way back, I think you would like her."

Dorian said with a smile. As he came around into the cafe he saw the person he was looking for. It was Jane Scarlett, old time mercenary.

Oh Hey Dorian, who is this?.

She asked looking up from her coffee.