kristinawood.com ~ View topic

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 21 Sep 2009 Posts: 219

The New BonBon Bastion

Foundling Hospital Visit

It with great pleasure and pride that this reporter, long silent restarts the paper with a story to warm the soul of any, but the most jaded, of readers. Our Mayor yesterday visited the local foundling hospital and spent a good five hours of the day with the unfortunate children of that place. At the insistence of the lonely waifs, given the idea by a certain reporting canine, Simon Blue did read several stories to these children. It must be said that the Mayor’s acting talents are indeed quite developed, his characterizations were welcomed with rapt awe.

One child of this place became quite insistent that Simon Blue was his, these are the words the youngling used, “Gompah”. At first the Mayor was quite unnerved by this child but slowly he took to this child. A warmth of heart and of generosity bloomed and the Mayor indeed took a serious interest in the boy. This resulted in the child and the hospital receiving a substantial bursary of funds sufficient to keep the excellent charity running for years, if not decades.

The child having declared, the good Simon, his beloved Gompah (Grandpa) was also rewarded with an education. As the Mayor said, “An education to befit a gentleman, and enough funds when of age to start a respectable career.” Now although the honorable Simon Blue insisted quite vociferously that none of this should reach the public. This reporter must respectful decline and show the world that a big man can indeed have a big heart.

Vern Prion’s Fish Market Opens

Due to popular demand a new fish market opens with the precincts of BonBon. The managing owner has declared that the consumption of fish is quite pronounced in this area. It is sufficient to keep the market in good income. Vern stated that one individual was proving to be the best customer. His taste for expensively smoked fish, oriental sashimi and rollmop herring could keep a fishmonger in trade for years.

This reporter is happy to report that the market although not to his own particular taste was indeed welcomed warmly by all residents.

A Complaint has been Issued

An anonymous gentleman, of nefarious reputation and astounding dexterity and audacity has issued a formal complaint against the city. His complaint reads that he has on several occasions been in fear for his life. He states, “I have never harmed no one or no thing in my exploits. It would be greatly appreciated if threats of bodily harm or even worse be withdrawn.”

This author concurs, the individual above although an unmistakable rogue of the highest order is no threat to life and limb. The threats to lynch this sweet gentleman of larcenous employ are a step further than needed.

Adverts
Fenwicks Fizzing Energy Pills

Are you lacking vim and vigor, then fear not these effective pills are the answer. Through the efficacious use of enhanced vitamin supplements, once again youthful energy can be regained. These wondrous tablets bring back that sparkle to most beings.

Note: These tablets only work for pure bred feline families, and the aphrodisiac effect is just a side effect of Nepeta cataria.

Personal Column

WG to Lord DG

I am well, situation comfortable. Will write in future, promise.

R4 to LMB
Items sold, regret unable to return. Please forgive.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 1548

Evan hears a newsy selling the latest news papper. So he buys a copy from the boy before reading. "Its good to see this news papper back is back in production," the doberman said to him self as he read to him self other wise quitely.

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 21 Sep 2009 Posts: 219

The New Bon Bon Bastion

Local Vixen has Stagefright

A local celebrity Miss Kamarilla Fuchs has issued an apology for the incredible level of stage fright she has experienced. Her dance recital at the castle has inexplicably ground to a total halt. At a lost to explain this Miss Fuchs said, “I am so sorry, this has never happened to me before. I can not seem to move beyond a certain point. Currently Mistress Vanessa is trying to help me, we are working on the problem by having little one on one recitals that seem to ease the fear.”

This reporter hopes that soon our esteemed vixen will be able to complete the dance recital as a number of the local males and some females are becoming frustrated. The suggestion to try the so called ‘Dutch courage’ resulted in Kommy becoming so inebriated that she fell of the stage laughing into the arms of a famous local fox. It was no hassle but Miss Fuchs has declared that she has no head for drink.

Poker Tournament
The local castle poker and cards tournament was a resounding success still the best player seems to be the well known Princess Betty of the castle. Her luck and skill are extraordinary most players can not beat this player one on one. Most opponent s cannot move beyond the incredible beauty of the lady of luck.

Again Princess Betty won the large grand prize and chose her prize from the audience as usual. The lucky fellow apparently will get two nights with the lady for company. This reporter may be out of line but one feels the incentive to win is sorely lacking in this tournament. Being the choice of Princess Betty is the far greater reward than any victory trophy.

The tournament next for all who are interested is the Valentine’s Day Special Invitational.

Postal Service in Trouble

The local postal service has politely requested that the residents stop sending cards and token to one individual in particular. Four bags were delivers to the castle yesterday with six more still waiting for the postal workers to recover. Although greatly honored by the love messages the lady in question is in no doubt to all your affection and would request that you merely visit her to kiss her hand as usual on the day.

Advert

Grunwalds Efficacious Cough Syrup

A superior product guaranteed to ease the sorest of throats and promote a health again. This effective cough linctus eases the abominable tickly throat with absolute ease.

Warning: the mixture does contain alcohol and is the equivalent to four glasses of strong porter per dose. It is advise to take sitting down.

Personals

LordDG to WG

Thank goodness and news heard that delights, oh my darling one.

LMB to R4

You rat, get them back or else.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 2846

(so any problems if iask what this is about)?

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 1548

((Its ment to be a news paper for the town. juts read and enjoy it.))

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 21 Sep 2009 Posts: 219

Goldie smiles, "My dear sir, this is the news that has occurred in Bon Bon, everyone needs to know what is happening."

(writer: okay this is a bit of fun a light hearted take on things and a way to exhibit my weird sense of humor, comment, join in, make up stuff to add to the paper....all is good."

FA Page · Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 31 Oct 2009 Posts: 2178

"Good to see Goldie is back with his papers," Leaf said. His eyes scanned over the paper, taking in every word. "I didn't think Miss Fuchs would have stage fright. She seemed so confident in those adverts for her products."

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 3215

*Sips some coffee and nod's* Yeah who would have thought. I mean after seeing her on that buildboard one would think she wouldn't have a problem with the stage. Ah well. *Goes back to reading the paper.*