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http://www.furaffinity.net/user/rikarda/ · Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 11 Feb 2011 Posts: 1436

http://shironakarius.deviantart.com/gallery/35067310

The second comic to the Elzeron series is finally up!

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 29 May 2009 Posts: 6010

Some of the characters looked pretty cute.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/rikarda/ · Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 11 Feb 2011 Posts: 1436

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 29 May 2009 Posts: 6010

I could'nt quite remember their names, but the cast overall I mean were well designed.

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 22 Dec 2008 Posts: 2173

((Hey Rikardo,

Um... did you want a spot of critique from a non-liscenced critic?

Anyway, congrats on getting your second book published. ))

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/rikarda/ · Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 11 Feb 2011 Posts: 1436

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 22 Dec 2008 Posts: 2173

((Rikardo,

Being as that I don't have a Facebook page, that'll be tricky for me. And, I'm not really interested in having one either.

Do you want to just post them here? ))

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/rikarda/ · Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 11 Feb 2011 Posts: 1436

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 22 Dec 2008 Posts: 2173

((Ricardo,

Don't think I haven't forgotten about this. I should have some more free time shortly, and I'll get you up some thoughts that may, or may not, help you.

Um... be advised though. Any comments I make are just my opinion. I'm not really trained or liscenced in this, and I'm not really trained to critique art/music/literature. In other words, I'm not a real/professional reviewer/editor. At best, I'm an opinionated webposter. So... yeah. ))

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 22 Dec 2008 Posts: 2173

((Rikardo,

Some quick-quick thoughts on your comics, as I promised these tons of minutes ago.

And... more importantly, these are just my thoughts. I'm not a pro reviewer, and I don't have the usual qualifications for reviewers such as a degree in fine arts or graphic arts. They're just some thoughts that may, or may not, be of any use to you. So... yeah.

Flat-color. Flat-color art is... tricky for me to enjoy. I usually don't care for it. Not really sure why, it… just doesn't mesh for me. So, while the proportions, sizing, and costuming of your characters works... the flat-coloring, for me, does not. It is ambitious to post fully colored works, let alone a fully colored comic. Something to consider would be to do grey-scale art. That way, you can try out how to give a 3-d illusion with the grey-scale. Then, when you move into color, you'll already have practice with showing highlights, shadows, shading, and the like. Or, you could even post a grey-scale page, and then try your hand at adjusting the grey-scale to a color-scale page.

On a side note, I do like the inclusion of the four traditional mythical beasts of England.

Text. Text, while it is great for written stories, is a detriment to comic stories. Comic stories go by the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words". The illustration should give the reader the story without saying a word. Iffn you're finding yourself explaining things through text/speech bubbles... consider reworking the illustration to where you can show the event / relationship / context without having to actually write it in. Take a gander at comics / cartoons / advertisements that don't use words at all, and see how they convey emotion, relationships, stories, action, humor, and the like. That way, your picture will be the main focus, and the text will be supportive.

Onimonipea (sp?). Words that are "sounds" shouldn't use the same font as your text/thought bubbles. Crack, bang, whoosh, rat-tat-tat, should look different to further offer the illusion of noise and activity. Like tilt the "whoosh" words in the direction of motion. Have "crack" come out all jaggedy and 80s metal-band-font looking.

Framing. I do like how you're using the entire page to tell the story, and not doing a 3-panel sort of thing. Something to consider here, though, is that the larger the chunk of the page, the more important that part is supposed to be... so if something takes up 1/2 the page, it is should be something important. Also, it might be useful to use an Egyptian hieroglyphic trick when using non-traditional framing. Have the characters looking in the direction the audience is supposed to read.

Logos. I understand the need for the logo on each of your pages, to prevent copyright and IP piracy, but it also distracts from the page. Check to see how some mainstream comics include a copyright watermark on their pages... like I'm pretty sure "Spiderman" isn't on each page, but somewhere the logo/copyright stuff is. Or, instead of your standard logo, see if you can make the logo transparent. That way it doesn't pull your audience towards it, and away from the scene.

So… there you go. Some ideas that might give you something useful. ))